3 years my brother just immersed in online stories

For my brother now, a meal of the day, a pack of cigarettes and a laptop is enough.

My brother is almost 40 years old, growing up in the context of family discord, he always had to handle many things because of "rice and rice money", encountered many failures in career and love. From a healthy, normal young man who is the main breadwinner in the family, over the past 3 years, he has become taciturn, quiet, refuses to go out to work, just hangs around the house, does not communicate with Who. Especially he was always depressed, no motivation and goals in life. I found him addicted to reading stories online, spending most of his day doing this.

At first, my family thought that his stay at home, not working was due to frustration and also because of his family responsibilities. However, the expressions of depression, pessimism, anger with relatives, reluctance to interact with the outside and almost immersed in his long-running internet stories have lasted for more than 3 years. After investigating, I knew he had severe depression. My family cares more and talks to him more, creates opportunities, and advises him to go out to work, to meet friends ... There are things that he is afraid of difficulties, is extremely difficult and important that he could not find. Motivation to make money.

My brother now lives in the countryside with his parents. My parents were very worried about him, but there is little information about this disease here, and my parents are less psychological, so even though he is sad and helpless with him, they do not dare to scold, just endure. contained. I worry that this situation will last longer and will lead to unfortunate consequences. Only I did not know how to say so that he could understand his condition and accept treatment.

Hope experts, readers, people who have relatives encounter this situation advice to help my brother soon regain the spirit and joy in life. Thank you!


Psychological consultant Phong Nguyen suggests:

Dear friend!

Reading the story you shared, I felt your anxiety about your brother's situation and you were eager to find a way to help him. You want your brother to understand your condition and accept treatment. However, based on the information you provide, the identification of a friend with depression should not be directly diagnosed by professional people, so that the correct way to intervene. Currently, according to you share, he does not have the need to go out to meet strangers, low social interest, no motivation in life. In the opinion of the psychotherapist, the client's motivation to visit the therapist contributes greatly to the final effect. So whether you or your family has forced you to seek the help of a doctor or a psychologist is not necessarily a positive result.

I encourage you to do it to positively impact your brother, so that he can feel comfortable sharing with his sibling. Being close to him can be an advantage, but if you are far away, it is entirely possible through current means of communication. Don't rush to mention to him what you think. Just talk normally, inquire about your daily life. If you know your brother loves to read stories, you can tell him about the stories you are reading, interact with him more. The purpose of all these actions is firstly to help him gradually get in the habit of sharing his hobbies and thoughts freely; The second will shorten the time you spend alone with a laptop, increasing the interaction time in a day.

This stage may take a long time, nor is it easy for you. The most important thing is that relatives around you should not rush to advise, urge, or force him to immediately communicate with many people, find work, take medicine or see a doctor. This will make him more and more self-deprecating and withdrawn because he thinks that people around him are thinking that he has a problem, while he completely feels very normal with the present life.

I hope that you and your family will accompany you through this difficult time. When he can be more comfortable with his friends, you should subtly mention that the two brothers will talk to the therapist and always insist that the brothers will accompany each other. I hope you will give your brother the patience and step by step with him slowly but effectively. I believe you always have enough interest and love for your brother. Wishing you and your brother will always be peaceful.